Discouraged

I hate the waiting game. And I hate how big of a kick my ego has taken over the past 4 months. I keep saying to myself, "I'm not going to get the job at my own hospital, I just know it." I don't think anyone can understand the feelings I've been having. For 4 months, I've been rejected by so many hospitals, saying that even though my experience is impressive, they want someone with experience. I can't help but think this is going to happen again. Someone who already has a PRN job is going to get this job as well. I don't care how many times all the nurses on the ICU floor have said, "they have to give you the job, you should have President over all the applicants since you would be an internal hire." Well no, I don't. It's up to the director. I told the nurses that if I don't get the job, to not expect me to work for a week or two. I don't think I could show my face in this hospital with that big of a blow to the ego. And I'm not going to kiss butt and bug the director just to attempt to get hired either.

I do have an interview for a PRN spot at Touchstone Imaging in Plano on Monday, thanks to Jeremy and whoever he knows on the inside. You just got to love how for months you don't hear anything about interviews and once the job you want opens up, you get interviews at other places. I'm not going to blow my interviews at the other places, hoping that I get the one here at TMC. All of my possible job opportunities are PRN so even if I do get two of the jobs, I can take both.

Yesterday I renewed my CPR certification at the Texoma Red Cross. By the end of the class I was being asked by the instructor to become an instructor because he found my skills impressive. I told him I would think about it. It's for my own profit and I could charge however much I wanted, since I would be charged by the Red Cross for every CPR dummy I had to rent out. It would look impressive on my resume, and I wouldn't mind doing it, but I am waiting to see how the job outlook turns out. The instructor said that they would pay for me to take a $300 class so I could become a certified instructor.

To wrap it up, I know the career I'm pursuing is the career to I want to have. Last night I got to help out the Rad Dept at work by shooting the post op CABG xray while they dealt with traumas in the ER, and it made my whole attitude change. I was happier, I was getting compliments about how I just jumped in there and took the lead to get the quick shot I wanted. It felt right. It's not like it's a hard xray to get. It's the very first one we learn. But the OR team put the cassette upside down under the patient so I had to reshoot in the room where the patient was surrounded by the OR team, lab, respiratory, and nurses. It didn't bother me. But I still loved getting the compliments I got. :)